Hopes Deferred

My goal of becoming a Nationally Board certified teacher will have to wait. Today I found out that I did not pass National Boards by 4 points.

After 14 months of writing and studying...plus 6 long months of waiting for my scores, I didn't prepare myself for the possibility of bad news.

I'm disappointed. I feel like I've let down myself and my family.  I think about all of the time, energy and money I've invested, as well as all of the sacrifices my family has made over the last 20 months.


Truthfully, I don't want to go through the National Boards process again. I don't want to shell out hundreds of dollars in retake fees. I don't want to spend my evenings, weekends, and Christmas vacation writing and studying. I don't want National Boards to take me away from my time with Tal and Savannah. I don't want to wait another year to find out if I'm a National Board certified teacher. What if I don't pass the second time around?

However, I remind myself that I only need to improve my score by FOUR points. Basically, I'll pass if I show any improvement the second time around. I also tell myself that National Boards is a grueling process and that only a small percentage of candidates pass the first time around. I also remind myself that a lot of my accomplishments haven't come easily. I haven't gotten every job that I've applied for. I wasn't accepted at my top college pick the first time. I didn't get into grad school the first time. I had to retake the GRE. Almost everything I've achieved has been through hard work and perseverance.


I'm allowing myself to cry and mope today. Starting tomorrow, however, I'm going to put on my game face and get started on National Boards again. Over the next 5 months, I'm going rewrite one of my portfolio entries and perhaps retake 3 assessment exercises before the April deadline. I'm going to pour my heart and soul into National Boards again and believe for good news in November 2012. I'm not going to give up.